This morning I had class at 8, which sucked since I had gone to bed only several hours previous. I had a big project due and not much time to do it in. After saying my last goodbyes to my bed, and vowing to return later, I struck of into the cold brisk morning. I had no sooner stepped out the door when I felt the unmistakable pains of a cold metal shovel hitting my face. Once I regained my senses, I realized I'd mistaken. It was in fact the cold that had hit me like a freight train, the searing miserable cold. I did like John Travolta and hustled to class as fast as my stiffening legs would take me. Memories of my warm bed haunted me each step I took. If not for my project, I would have eagerly accepted an invitation from myself to miss class. I took refuge in a building nearby, comparing the symptoms of frostbite to my current predicament. It seemed I had an unmistakable case of frozen ears. I gave myself a hastily prepared prep talk worthy of an unsolicited screenplay, and headed back out into the cold to fight the frost witch of the north. I made it to class and discovered that it apparently was -18 degrees outside and with the windchill it was -38 degrees. Why did I walk to school in that? After finishing class and suffering an oddly familiar scenario, I vowed to not leave the warmth of my home again. Ever! That said, I left it again for my next class.
Later this evening, I had plans to visit a good friend for dinner. I went out to my car to warm it up before going and found the doors frozen shut. I don't mean a white printer paper with Sharpie saying "Closed" shut, but frozen solidly shut. The doors might as well have been welded. The car had a thick 1 inch thick coating of ice. I chipped at it and pulled, and even gave myself the heimlech using the door as a chair, yet it wouldn't budge. I began the long arduous journey on foot. Several blocks and right turns later, I was there.
What happened to global warming, when did I move to Antartica? These are questions in need of answers. Why have the sidewalks been coated with ice for a month? Does the county not pay for snow plows? Who is watering my lawn?
The answers are unmistakable. Penguins.
Later this evening, I had plans to visit a good friend for dinner. I went out to my car to warm it up before going and found the doors frozen shut. I don't mean a white printer paper with Sharpie saying "Closed" shut, but frozen solidly shut. The doors might as well have been welded. The car had a thick 1 inch thick coating of ice. I chipped at it and pulled, and even gave myself the heimlech using the door as a chair, yet it wouldn't budge. I began the long arduous journey on foot. Several blocks and right turns later, I was there.
What happened to global warming, when did I move to Antartica? These are questions in need of answers. Why have the sidewalks been coated with ice for a month? Does the county not pay for snow plows? Who is watering my lawn?
The answers are unmistakable. Penguins.
3 comments:
i like the twist at the end, i never saw it coming... those penguins! they would.
who did you go to dinner with? you never drive here........
I went to dinner at Travis'. We had chips and lettuce which I guess is also called taco salad.
Penguins are like nature's butlers... except the tips they charge for their services are exhorbitant... as well as disgusting. Who wants to pay the hired help with fish heads?
Post a Comment