Dont Put All Your Homework in One Chuck Norris Notebook

I once had a man dressed as Shrek tell me that he was a 21st Century Digital Boy. When my eyes didn't light up with enthusiastic glee he assumed I was shamefully ignorant. He then proceeded to explain that it was a lyric from a Bad Religion song mocking our lack of intelligence even though we have intellegent technologies. I however, didn't need to have all this explained to me by a giant green man that looked like he had escaped from off the label on a can of peas. I had bled Bad Religion for years! I knew the songs well and understood the message well enough to know that this ogre, dressed as a cartoon version of himself, was in fact telling the truth when he called himself a 21st Century Digital Boy. If one were to finish the lyric, it would continue with "I don't know how to read but I got a lot of toys." Indeed, the Shrek before me had in one hand a camcorder, and in the other a digital camera that was worthy of admiration. My green friend further fit the mold in his obvious failure to read the bright colored packaging that said Medium Sized Shrek.

Chuck Norris has a history of failing people, and he failed me this morning when I realized that my notebook graced with his bearded likeness was in fact several states away and out of reach. It is unfortunate that with all these "Digital Boys" running around we are still unable to project hollograms of homework across the world... or even the living room. Let it be known, by man, child, manchild and boy, that I will herefore ever after never be impressed until that day that visual transmissions of essays on Assirian and Egyptian cultural exchanges are accessible in any location and environment. Further, with the creation of Geek Squads and Gamer Clans, it is far past time for the unification of the scientific and the sci-fi communities. Gather round my banner, though it be an old tablecloth wrapped in a torn grocery sack, together we... or rather you in my name will harvest the necessary information to create a teleportation device of an unepic proportion. (I only need to cross the state line.) I only ask that you impress me and perhaps pay for gas along the way.