The Sound of Trees Falling Down

I imagine you have to be born into the buisness of crafting coffins...

So I went to eat at Pizza Hut tonight. It was like being caught in the middle of an illegal day care. There was trash all over the floor and childfolk running amok like Christmas had just been cancelled. We all aged profoundly while waiting to even be seated. It would have been easier to just go plop down in a booth but their little "PLEASE, Wait to be Seated" signpost stood like a snarling gargoyle blocking the path. It was fortunate that we got glasses of water right off, or there would have been nothing between us and the thin line into cannibalism. In the amount of time it took to get a plain cheese pizza, we could have walked to the grocery store, bought a frozen pizza reminiscent of cardboard, walked home, preheated the oven to 450, and cooked the sucker till it was nice, crisp, and ready to cause some serious indigestion. I suppose we could even have written a nice cordial correspondence to a nice bubbly Italian man in Italy or Nevada and had him ship us a hand crafted pizza dish named after someone's not quite famous father. Needless to say it took forever, and was further irritating by the two employees sitting nearby chatting with friends instead of um, i don't know, helping customers! After we finished eating, the waitress avoided our table like we were wearing hazmat suits and passing out coloring books. She may even have gone on break while we sat waiting for someone, anyone to take our money. Well I soothed my aching heart by taking their metal cup full of crayons.