The Ghost of Jimmy Dean Still Loves His Sausages

Update on status of transportation device: Not looking good

Update on status of Chuck Norris notebook: In Transit

Update on status of Dreamweaver availability at bookstore: Unavailable

Update on status of student project website: Online and amatuerish

Update on status of Jimmy Dean's sexuality: In question

Update on status of people posting status updates: Incredibly lame.



I am listening to an incredibly sappy song for no real apparent reason. It is a miracle that I haven't melted down into a gelatinous puddle of goo by this point. It makes me wonder, has anyone ever purchased and then listened to a Michael Bolton CD track for track and survived? Is it even possible to listen to his album's completely through? He probably doesn't even need to write more than 2 songs, the rest of his album could be silence or prank phone calls. Maybe he could rant for like 20 minutes on how obsessed he is with Teddy Roosevelt and how the country has been heading in the wrong direction since Waffle Crisp left our supermarket shelves.



I got up early this chilly morning to head to class. I sat with eyes glazed over waiting for class to start. I sat for quite possibly ten minutes before realizing that I had somehow missed the start of class and all the instructions for the day. I also realized my teacher was trying to ask me a question. Who put on a big orange hat and decided when the day should start? It is impossible to learn when you are brain dead, just ask Charles Barkley. Classes should be short and sweet, sometime later in the day, but not too late or they will interfere with my television programming.