Good news for my self-loving self, Chuck Norris came back for me, just as if I was a slightly overweight, inexperienced, back home rustic soldier with nothing left to gain and everything left to prove in his platoon. Who am I kidding, Chuck Norris is a platoon of one, and he only goes back for noobs if it means he can take on an entire army of highly trained Texas hating assassins. That said, thank goodness for express mail. It is definately worth the 17 dollars to not have to wait an extra few days....
Last night I decided to treat myself to some home popped popcorn from my pleasant home pop popcorn popping machine. (Say that backwards with your eyes closed!) Needless to say, I popped more than I had anticipated. The hot air and loud vaccum cleaner backfiring noise, it's all so enchanting. Add the bouncing kernels just waiting to be turned into fluffy puffs of corn and it is very easy to get carried away. Let's just say I got carried away. I still am unsure of why, but this house has NO big bowls. This presents a problem as the popcorn is flying out of the funnel like burning hot angry killer bees. I had a small bowl handy, but the popcorn swarmed me and soon it was flying everywhere. I reached for the next closest container, and soon filled a measuring cup to overflowing as well. At this point I gave up trying to get the popcorn into bowls or cups, it seemed so futile. I just used my body and arms to try and keep the popcorn from spilling onto the floor. By the time the machine had finished turning those sweet childlike kernels into an army of one, I had my arms full of popcorn, the floor was showered with it, it had fallen into two drawers that were slightly open, and I still had my two containers filled to overflowing. Where was I going to put all this popcorn? The answer, in the trash.
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