The light on my laptop is flashing like a flashlight a toddler just figured out how to operate. I don't have the energy to get up and plug it in to give it the juice it needs to keep going, perhaps it is more like a toddler than I realized.
Graduating from college is a momentous occasion that anyone will tell you is unforgettable. For my efforts I was given a cheap water bottle and a license plate holder to promote my school pride and help quench any thirst encountered as a graduate. Well worth my time and sizable financial donation if you ask me.
I knew in the midst of my studies and planning for the future that upon graduation I might have difficulty finding gainful employment having cast my lot in the respectability and sparkle of a Fine Art degree. But like most ambitious gunslingers I decided I'd worry about that another day when the future became the present, a future that could be filled with flying cars and Game of Thrones re-runs.
Finding a job is a lot like dating. You are looking for your perfect match, someone that doesn't mind your terrible handwriting or weekend LARP'ing habit. The hunt for the ideal job includes deal breakers like location, dress code, honorary titles, vacation and benefits, kitchen duties, co-worker nicknames, and a litany of other considerations. Each interview is like a date, you prepare and dress up all fancy and respectable hiding your true self, and then you lie like a witch in a medieval courtroom saying anything to get them to like you. If you are lucky enough to get a second or third, even a promising fourth interview, you begin to really become invested and you might even start planning your life around having that job like a teenage crush around prom. When they call to tell you "We've offered the position to someone else, but we think you are great!" your heart will sink just as it does during a breakup. You might become desperate and look farther away for jobs that are more difficult, pay less, demand more, or have bizarre tests and rituals to pass before being accepted for an interview. The snarky geniuses at a smarmy startup might laugh and snort and call you a n00b before offering you an exotic, flavored bottle of eco-friendly water on your way out.
Perhaps in the end you will find what you are looking for, gainful employment with a company that uses actual desks and chairs and pays a decent wage. Perhaps you will find that you are selling roses on the corner of the street on Mother's Day even though Santa is obviously moving in on your turf and taking corners, as it is the blizzard of the century outside. Perhaps you will be like me and get to work with the smooth, relaxing sounds of Little Richie pouring over the airwaves as my coworker serenades me to give me an education in "real music." Hey, we can't all live the dream. If we all did, then there would be no $5 roses on some lucky mother's table right now.
