The Lucas is Watching

A long time ago in a galaxy not that far away...

An evil empire was created by a man with a headache. He wore a big red hat similar in shape to a coffee mug. This man wore oven mitts on both hands and somehow never seemed to shave or wipe his face. The man's name of course was George Lucas, though he should never be mentioned by name unless there is a fierce northeasterly wind blowing and a notion of winter on the horizon. This hobbit looking creature crafted with his mind a universe surprisingly similar to his own (Ever been to the waterpark?) Needless to say legions of devoted social refugees flocked from the far corners of their basements to name him their king. He eventually relented and unleashed upon the masses a safe haven for dorks and super dorks alike. I speak of a realm that only exists in myth, or rather online. George Lucas fathered a mutant child we in the future like to call Star Wars. And within decades of being birthed, a franchise was grafted into America's favorite peg leg. The most heinous of this man's creations came in the form of his games which eventually included online opportunities to saber jedi, sith, and jawas alike.

Devestating to my reputation, I spent some time interacting with these saber weilding socialites. (It was research for a blog.) In my travels, online, I discovered that there existed a bright, vibrant, force worshipping community. These wishful padawans had gathered themselves into clans reeking of clan pride and saber tactics. They put tags on their characters and spent countless hours sabering anything that made an appearence in their realm, or server. I grew to love taunting and terrorizing these dedicated saberers. Their hearts were tarnished red and their appetites for destruction were more prevailent than their appetites to leave the comfort of their computer chair for a meal not consisting of the skittles laying somewhere on the floor near the overfilled litterbox.

To somehow come to a point, and some closure I bring us to a Jedi Master named (amy). She was a clan leader and a saber dueling champion. On our encounters I was always sabered and my smoking, still stunningly attractive body was seperated from other parts of itself within seconds. She was always somewhere online sabering someone. It was uncanny how it mattered not what time of day or night, weekends, holidays, or blackouts, she was always online. Even intergalactic revolutions didn't seem to matter. I guess I never logged on when there was a Star Wars marathon on TNT, or during Shark Week, but still amazing. I came to learn that (amy)'s name was in fact Amy, she was from Canada and had a 2 year old child. To tie off the garbage sack and put it in the pail, "Mommy I'm hungry. Hang on baby, Mommy will make you some pork and beans when she's done sabering jawas."

He's out there, he created this monster, and he's watching...