Anybody Have a Cough Drop?

Early in the year 1879, William H. Luden crafted out of his blood, sweat, tears, and a pile of sugar a throat lozenge that would soothe the ache of throats for many years to come. Mr. Luden's company also crafted the world famous 5th Avenue candy bar. Although it doesn't quite aid an ailing cough, it does taste better than a bucket of herbal remedies. Mr Luden's however didn't plan well enough for the future. I know this because he has yet again failed me and Luden's lovers everywhere. I found myself looking for the flashy mini box of throat drops that made the L-word commonplace in our country. I quickly walked to the nearby grocery store and scanned the stocked shelves. Much to my amazement, there were no boxes of the beloved drops. I snapped my fingers in the hopes that a fairy or flashy salesman would appear and solve my dilema, but no one answered my call. I set of with a fresh batch of determination brewing, for the long walk to Walgreens. The walk was made all the longer by the unrelenting cold. I arrived at my destination and found I was unable to feel my face enough to smile at the attendant near the door who greeted me. It indeed was cold. I rushed back to the trusted pharmacy and checked the massive cold aisle for the throat drops I was sure would be sitting on the shelves, a bright glow of white light surrounding them in a beautiful scene. The scene however was much different. It was much the same as it had been at the grocery store. I realized my best chance was to try the gas stations on the other end of town. They stocked little boxes of things right? Right. So my journey took on an epic scale as I again set out in search of my quarry. I made it to the closest gas station, locally famous for it's low priced big sized drinks, and found they had no cold remedies at all. The best they could offer was a new kind of tootsie roll that had apple flavoring and a green color. I took a bite of the Tootsie-monstrosity, and crossed the street to the other unfamous local gas station. Again I found no remedies for niether the common cold, nor for the cold breweing within my heart. I returned home, defeated. I checked other retailers, online. I found that I could indeed obtain my lozenges, but for a steep price. I would have to purchase a case of them, and a case was nearly 20 dollars. I decided to eat sour patch kids instead.