Winston, You're Way Ahead of the Herd

"With great power comes a great power bill. "

"Never has someone talked about so little using so many words as our dear friend Stubby. "

There exists within certain cultures and principalities a gathering place, a place where one can expect to find lost jelly beans, any imaginable variation of crumpled papers, and of course enough lost copper coin to purchase a romance novel at a thrift store.
Naturally the laudromat is the place where people from all walks of life converge to huddle close to washing machines and share insights and ideas with the masses mixing detergents and linens.
I usually do my laundry at a common enough time, at least compared to my erratic sleep schedule. I recently had to switch laudromats due to the unthinkable decision by the owner to demolish the building in order to prepare the way for a future apartment complex.
Having been a patron now of multiple laundromats in multiple cities and states around this country, I can say that I have rarely seen a laudromat busy, or even close to full with people.

Imagine my surprise then when on my second visit to this recently adopted washing park I arrived to find that the place was completely packed with people. "Filled to capacity" a burley neck-chain clad price tag might say standing beside his carefully placed velvet ropes. Where did all these people come from? It is a 24 hour laundromat, meaning it is open 24 hours a day, and should therefore never be filled to capacity. I'm guessing that since the laundromat offers free WiFi that a portion of the congregation were just leeching off the internet service like pale white kids leech on Mountain Dew during weeklong Halo parties. The rest of the people can be explained in only a number of ways. Perhaps they were friends of friends who were coming because someone had just discovered a new way of folding sheets and athletic shorts using one hand and a butterfly knife. Others heard there was a black light dance party happening after the DJs whites hit their third spin cycle. And everyone else just saw me coming and hate my guts so they threw their clean clothes from their dressers into the mud so they could keep me from doing laundry for a day.