It's Time For an Intervention, a Mechanical One.

Homework sucks the precious, gold-star-rated life out of me. That is what I recently decided through the help of a good psychic who charges by the second, and a goofy team of misfit kids that drive around in a van solving mysteries with their pet hound. I have also decided that it's never too late to regret a bad decision to live near the train tracks. I always thought trains were kind of fun, they had neat names and went out of their way to be nice to people and teach life lessons. Imagine my surprise to discover that trains were in fact bullies that like to rattle my books off the shelves and spill glasses of milk off my table, or to blare their horns so loudly that my ears bleed while I am listening to music full blast already on my headphones. This morning I finally finished my homework in time to curse the sun for already being up, and to then curse the Greek god in charge of the sun, I forget which one that is... Apollo? Curse you Apollo! Even if you are in a different department, or Roman, curse you regardless!

It was 6, and I had a few hours to sleep before class. I had only just reached the sweet oblivion of Dreamland, or Dreamville if you're from the South, or off to Never Neverland if your a Metallica fan, when I heard the horrible sound of a man running over a fully grown horse with a lawn mower! At least that is what it sounded like in my semiconscious state. I was both relieved and appalled to discover that it was just some guys in orange vests operating an industrial sized wood chipper inches away from my bedroom window. No big deal, I don't mind the sound of grinding and crunching tree branches at 8 in the morning. It's not like the sound made my brain wish it wore shoes so it could unlace its shoelaces and hang itself in it's cell. I have to hand it to those guys, their wood chipper was quite impressive. I'm not sure if it was just the proximity, but the noise that thing made put the trains to shame. I would give them a well crafted trophy over a nice pancake breakfast if I wasn't so busy looking for a comedically sized wrench to throw in the middle of their gut-wrenching plans. I couldn't find anything comedic enough so I just decided the best solution was to burn this entire building down. I hadn't even finished getting all the petrol from the shed when I realized I was late for class. Lucky for me man invented the wheel, discovered fire, and clocked out the hours of a day. Curse you man, you're worse than Apollo!